Wednesday, May 04, 2005

I Aks You...

To my real brother,

I was walking with our real father when he starts giving me the usual education go-over like oh shit thomas advanced-bloody-placement change your mindset and you might survive go-over and it came to me:

He is an MA in education.
We are, in your case were, his test subjects.

And he never bloody stops saying, now with G, G thinks this way, and so on.

As if i wasn't feeling fucked up enough already.

so it goes.

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

The Lowdown on Gender

distracted in biology:

she likes you

'snot my fault

is that all you boys can say?

hey us lads will just be talking and expressing our feelings like we're supposed to and its you girls who start planning and sizing us up

umm. No its the bloody other way around only guys size the girls up first.

guys have intentions.
girls have PLANS.


no see
my gum had
gotten stuck to
my pen cap

there ain't nothin wrong w/plans!
but i do hate it w/ all my black lil heart
but chai and lunch is TRADITION.

don't you have another person to keep you entertained now?

well then.
i repeat, T-R-A-D-I-T-I-O-N

try O-B-S-O-L-E-T-E

he grins at himself because he euses bloody huge words that no-one understands.

look it up.
anyway, lunch?

well then.

playing hard to get.

who moi?

Saturday, April 30, 2005

i'm your hoochie coochie man

hello ladies and gents:

here are a number of things that make living in this house hard to tolerate.

number one i'm under constant suspicion. this means mad paranoid imposed time limitations from the 'rents, invasive questioning...

number two this also means i never feel comfortable where i live.

number three they always have to go to far "[dammit] tom turn that music down how can you concentrate on your english its too loud [dammit] do something about it *glaring*"

number four they're obsessed about my brother and his life and try to control him even from thousands of miles away.

now i have friends who have an emotional crisis every time they get criticized by their 'rents, don't talk to them, and all that. But for me it's just going to make it easier to leave, to get on living how i like, to say fuck you to my childhood and family. You can't expect me to write every week when you tried to control every aspect of my life earlier. You can't expect me to be cooperative when you're invasive and suspicious. You can't expect me to sit around and talk to you people when i don;t feel comfortable in my own house.

No crisis.
No hate, no anger.

That's just how its going to be.

oh yeah and Chris Couch

Thursday, April 28, 2005

mind your head.

listening to the radio, i am thinking...these indies, with their irony...where do they sleep? indies! where do you sleep?

definitely peaceful, walking around with a saxophone strap around my neck.

today i was standing around outside with ozzy supposed to be reading chapter two but actually talking about adventures. Ozzy tells me the tecnicalities of drinking in china.

well they have flavoured beer he says which is about 3 percent.

so then if i have three than it is about the same as a heineiken.

then the teacher comes and tells us how her parents actually made her brother get drunk at home so that he could do it in a safe environment.

and there was white light all over the concrete balcony and there were grey clouds sidestepping through the clouds like ships.

teachers aren't supposed to tell you about this shit.

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

Corner 59!

's Jimi Hendrix night tonight.

Reading Tony Pierce tonight.

Churchill! 'ts up?

Sittin' around, chewing a blunt. Peace.

Wasn't it victory?

Dude, it was peace.

Friday, April 22, 2005

coca~cola with fucken chunky bits.

i don't need no tv/ i dont need no news/all i need's a funky beat/to rock away my blues...

Thursday, April 21, 2005

Turning turning and look again

blur should definitely be up there with everyone else who took care of us when we were kids and brought us out of the godforsaken early nineties.

Today I had what Mr. Demetro calls "feeling tired and weird so dont talk to me too much okay" I find myself at the peak of mental alertness at ten at night.

Dammit I'm so strung out and cranky all the time like ironic cranky the irony pools up in me like diesel fuel i hate the taste and the smell but i love it dammit i wouldn't have it any other way...have you read the love song of alfred j prufrock by ts eliot this girl in my english class tells us its ironic and should be the hate song of alfred j prufrock dammit i say (which i keep saying) dammit old alfred, yunno, old alfred, he's just tryna get through with the love and people never listen, he's sitting drinking tea when he wants to freak out and grab her and tell her that the darkness surrounds us and what do we do or as robert creeley says

As I sd to my
friend, because I am
always talking, -- John, I
sd, which was not his
name, the darkness sur
-rounds us, what
can we do against
it, or else, shall we &
why not, buy a goddamn big car,
drive, he sd, for
christ's sake, look
out where yr going.

And that's exactly what I'd do.